Monday, July 8, 2013

7.713 A new home

My username might look familiar to some readers.  For the rest of you who are unfamiliar with me, allow me to give you a short rundown of the past few months.

In November 2012, I stopped the process of a nearly 6-year transition I had undergone from female-to-male.  This was not an overnight process as some claim to say it was (mainly people who don't know me).  Rather, I had been questioning this process for a while before my decision to do what people call "de-transition."

In November, I ceased a 2 year long hormone treatment of bi-monthly synthetic testosterone injections.  At that point, I already had a presence on tumblr and up until the point I was rallying around the needs of self-proclaimed "truscum" to hold the opinion that there are "real transseuxals" and then there are "transtrenders."  This group claims that transsexuality is a medical condition.  I still agree that it is, but it is not one that should be in any way "cured" by the methods currently available.  One disturbing thing I did notice with this group of people was the behavior they had towards anyone who "gender-bended" or otherwise did not fit into their narrow definitions of trans.

Indeed, I have done much activism related around transgender and transsexual issues.  I have three times attended the Trans Day of Remembrance and, in fact last November, I hosted the event with my partner.  I am a board member for my local Pride organization.  I am sorry to say that I may have been solely responsible for opening a dialogue encouraging a gender neutral section of my local "Take Back the Night" event (to Andrea Dworkin: I am sorry.)

During my periods of activism, I have interacted and even was friends with many in the community who would consider themselves transsexual, or at the least, "trans*."  Some of these friendships and alliances turned sour during my transition, particularly from MtT (male-to-trans) people.  One even went so far as to physically threaten me over a difference of opinion (something I would later learn is a common occurrence between MtTs and feminists).

It became even rockier after I publicly announced my de-transition on my friend's public access television show.  Local activists who once cheered me on and gleefully encouraged my descent into body hatred, lesbophobia, BDSM, and misogyny were now utterly furious with me with making (in my opinion) the right decision for my body and mind (and since it is my OWN body, I would hope that my so-called "friends" would be supportive).  Luckily, some were supportive of me de-transitioning for health reasons (although some blamed the health issues I experienced on my weight).  What local activists took more issue with was my assertion that gender is a farce meant to keep women subordinate and men in control.  The gender theorists claim that anything not male is lesser-than in the patriarchy, but what they fail to acknowledge is that anything men deem as "feminine" (as constructed by patriarchy) is less-than.  This is NOT the fault of radical feminists.  Radical feminists understand these issues as well.  However, where gender theorists embrace gender as a laundry list of endless "identities" radical feminists suggest that the entire system is flawed and only serves to benefit men; ergo gender as any type of meaningful concept should be scrapped entirely.

I agree with the radical feminists here, obviously.

On the subject of tumblr, however, when I began publicly sharing my television interview, I received a mixed response.  From the "truscum" (FtTs) who mutually followed me, I received a ton of "how dare you! Take responsibility for your own actions and stop generalizing!" backlash.  From the MtTs I received death and rape threats, was told I was a "failed male" because obviously being a man was "too hard" for me, and other such not-nice things that men usually say to women who make intelligent claims.

I began following more radical feminist blogs.  I began reaching out to people who told me their own horror stories about their own transitions (and people who have family members with transition complications).  However, the bullies kept harassing me via tumblr (and they continue to do so).

I still use tumblr, but under a different username for my own peace of mind.  This is my new (permanent) home.  Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you continue to do so!

Heath Atom Russell (not an imposter)! :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh, great. I thought you were gone for good.