Monday, August 12, 2013

8.12.13 TransMISOGYNY and consequences

For the past month I have been in the process of getting a protective order against a local MtT. This man, used to be a friend but since they found out about my detranstion and involvement in radical feminist spaces they have been violent and hostile.
Everything started with this photo and a phone call after they found out I was reading Cathy Brennan's blog, via a link I posted on my facebook. It was a post about how men will fuck anything, and CB had wrote about a story where a man in her life had fucked her piggy bank. Coletta agreed with the post and interacted then became angry when she read what else was on CB's blog. I told her on facebook to leave me alone, and then once again after I received a phone call from him and this text. As you can see I asked him not to contact me again. For a month we heard nothing and thought all was okay then I recieved a message from a local event promoter that Coletta was on their facebook page telling people I was a traitor and a liar and that they had deleted it before it was posted to the masses. This promoted my girlfriend to go digging and we found several posts on his personal account regarding me.

What was more disturbing was when I checked my article on Gender Trender as from his facebook posts I could tell he had done some digging on me. There I found comment, after comment from him.  I decided not to comment back to him directly but reestablish that I have asked him to leave me be. We also found several of Coletta's old Bebo accounts, and wordpress as well as his twitter that he had been talking about me on. For someone that had not seen me in 2 years, and maybe only 3 times before their attachment and anger was very disturbing. The last time I had seen him resulted in a drunken sexual accounter that now, recalling back was very inappropriate behavior as I was 21 at the time and Coletta was nearly 50, and both of us were intoxicated.

I do not think they were published, but it got us an i.p address and email

Because of these comments I was urged by Cathy Brennan and others to get a protective order against Coletta, the fact he stewed over me for a month, and then exploded with such force was and is a worry to me. I went to my county and filled out paperwork and while that was a hassle it has been the easiest process. 
In order to receive my protective order I need to have a third party serve Coletta with the paperwork, and this is our problem.The sheriff will do it for a fee, but we need and address, which we do not have and cannot find. Coletta has never had a formal name change and therefore his records are not in that name. He have no job, or dmv record. We had a lawyer look for us and they could not find anything. We searched ourselves and with Coletta's phone number we were able to track it to... the old owner of the number. We have his church, but they won't help us, we have Coletta's girlfriends name and address but that turned out to be a trailer park, and we need a space number, and that is not Coletta's residence, so we are stuck. 

Despite all this information we have nothing. I can find and view his recent purchases on Amazon but not his address. Because of his chosen name, he has hidden from being served and still doesn't know we are attempting to serve him with a notice of a protective order.

Last Wednesday was the court hearing and the judge looked at the evidence and was prepared to grant us the order based on what Coletta has said regarding me, but got ahead of himself and did not realize we were unable to serve Coletta. He told us to contact the police department in the town Coletta lived in, which we did and they said they do not serve legal papers. He pushed our hearing to the 28th of this month, and we have to serve Coletta 5 days before. 

Today we contacted a professional process server, and they told us that their fee was 65$ to serve Coletta, plus travel fee. In addition to this fee we also have to first pay for them to locate him, that cost 75$/hr and they do not know how long it will take them. I have stated a fund to help with the expenses, as I do not have the money it takes to track this person down, and I am still worried that they will lash out at me in a public space. I cannot afford to serve them, but I cannot afford to let my girlfriend or myself hurt because of this man. I am hoping that the community that has helped me so much can also help me with this. 

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