Tuesday, August 27, 2013

8.27.13 Backlash Against Feminism/Appropriation of Feminism: Two Sides-Same Coin

Sometimes, while I keep up with the day-to-day activism of various women and the underlying message of their personal role in the overall solidarity puzzle, I find myself curious.

My curiosity stems from questioning whether certain sects of feminism, sects that are overwhelmingly under scrutiny by radical feminism, might have actually started out as good inter-movements towards women's liberation.

Take sex-positivity for instance.  I wonder if sex-positivity actually started out as a way for women to discover their bodies sexually.  I wonder if sex-positivity was rooted in body acceptance and adoration.  Sex-positivity is supposed to be about women claiming agency and autonomy over their total bodies - and this includes their own sexuality.

However, men polluted this.  Which comes as no surprise.  The sex-positivity movement became hijacked by men who made it all about capitalizing on pornography, exploitation, and catering to their orgasms, under the guise of women's "empowerment."

Further, let's examine this whole idea of gender-non conformity.  Radical feminists (yes, those women that the QQQ, Queer Qids Qlub enjoys trashing, harassing, stalking, and threatening) actually helped bring gender non-conformity to the Western forefront during the second wave.  Pre-patriarchy, women and men didn't have bullshit gender roles.  They did what was best for survival.  They co-existed within nature.  Patriarchy on the other hand, is a highly unnatural state of being.  Whatever role they fit had nothing to do with vanity and everything to do with fostering life.

What did the post modern queer theorists do with the helpful idea of abolishing gender?  Simple! Don't abolish gender, just identify with it! Certain activities, choices, roles, forms of expression are for men and others are for women.  How is it that we are in the year 2013 and still dealing with this garbage?

Sex is reality.  Sex-based oppression of females exists.  Gender is simply the legitimization of sex-based oppression, indeed, it is a tool of further exacerbating violence against women.

See? These both began as really great concepts.  These were the sentiments (and still largely remain the sentiments) behind both of these factions.  Men took women's ideas, mindfucked them, appropriated them, repackaged them, and then responded to womens demands with a cum shot to the face.

So, I am wondering, what with sex-positivity and gender theories, whether it really benefits women's liberation to include men at the forefront of any women's movement.  Men are more than welcome to consider themselves allies to feminism (not feminists!) and can take a step back and let us women do the work.  Trust me, we can handle things perfectly fine without you.  If you need something to do, stop trying to discredit meaningful feminist discourse, stand up against misogyny and lesbophobia (this will likely mean UNsubscribing to Queer Theory), and educate your fellow men about how to meet the bare minimum requirements of human decency.

You can't begin to "help" us if you are constantly talking over us, erasing us, and appropriating our movement.  

Stop making everything about your hurt feelings and your sad boners.  

This is about women. This is a women's movement.

Deal with it!

Friday, August 23, 2013

8.23.13 Dedications

I had recently sought donations to get a local stalker served with a restraining order.  Because of the hard work of a friend of mine who is a PI and process server, the amount I ended up needing was a LOT less than I originally would have needed, and the people who donated covered ALL sheriffs fees.  This post is to thank those who donated.  I'm signal boosting a few of their blogs/causes and I wrote each of them a poem in tribute.  Donators are identified only by their initials.


1. Signal boost and Poem for G.B. 

GB runs a blog that can be found HERE.  She asked me if Star Trek would inspire me, and inspire it did.

"Patriarchy: The Feminist Frontier"

Patriarchy, the feminist frontier
these are the voyages of
the star ship "Intersectional."
It's ongoing mission:
to expose the inner workings of the oppressive class,
to seek out our sisters and join forces,
to boldly overthrow what no woman has overthrown before.

"Captains log, Stardate 3845.2
Women appear to be losing this battle.
The planet known as Earth
appears...
nearly uninhabitable.
My mission is clear.
We must begin mandatory evac. of female survivors and their children."

I am Captain Karen.
I come from a line of descendants
of unknown origin
Their records were all destroyed
in a battle of dominion

I share a kinship
with the female species
as it is clear they are erased
as much as my kind vanished
without
a trace

Not only in our travels have we discovered
various life forms
Life!
Forms!
But we have also found other planets of humans.

I escaped my planet
before the catastrophe
my wife was an inventor
with ties to space exploration

Dr. Rojas, the on-board physician,
was part of a research team that created a way
Created!
Away!
to merge female eggs
creating female offspring
Dr. Rojas had escaped too.

As our destination nears
I radio Lieutenant Pierce
to ask about correspondence with the inhabitants

"Yes Captain, the last message reads: 'situation dire. Millions lost. Millions more starving. Awaiting rescue fleet.'"

"Thank you Lieutenant." I press another button
and am patched through to first officer Sammy.

"Sammy, please report to the bridge."

"I will be there shortly, Captain."

Moments later, Sammy appears
on the deck, looking worn.
"Instructions for me, Captain?"
"Not this time, more a question.
How do we comfort inhabitants war torn?"

Sammy stands silent, then says
"We will know when the time comes."

Our vessel fast approaching
I lean back
I hoped to see a vast blue orb
but it was grey, brown, and black.

Until the next time, fellow voyager.
Karen out.


2. Signal boost and poem for AM

AM didn't specifically have a blog or cause for me to promote, so I spent a lot of time fleshing out a poem in Villanelle style, which to me ranks in difficulty with sonnets.

"Photographic Memory"

Your creative spirit so obviously grows
in places you've not seen before
you seize the radiance of life in photos

The essence of time slows
in far off places you ought to explore
your creative spirit so obviously grows

"Freeze the scene before its gone" you suppose
places only dreamed about in lore
you seize the radiance of life in photos

The bright city light shimmers and glows
energy illuminated at the core
your creative spirit so obviously grows

Leaves, branches, and water flows
with tranquil abandon that we adore
you seize the spirit of life in photos

Nature and industry with their endless shows
you've seen plenty and yearn for more
your creative spirit so obviously grows
you seize the radiance of life in photos


3. Signal boost and poem for LB

LB does a lot of activism around women in the military.  She requested that I advise any women who is currently serving in our forces to seek help in the case of sexual assault.  Her project is here: http://militaryrapecrisiscenter.org

Because of the nature of her activism, I decided to write this poem for the women who are serving.

The Struggle

I may not agree with the directions
of the government that stifles connections
But you are my sisters, my kin
one day we will overcome the delusions

of power, greed, and discipline
The bravery and strength from within
springs forth from herstory long abandoned
yet you must keep up your chin

You women in uniform, your bonds are banded
chained to the same corruption that leaves us stranded
The horrors daily that you face
I can't imagine; life taken for granted

When you come home, will I see it in your face?
The terror, the anguish, the vast open space
of innocence long stolen from you?
Spread your wings and soar far from the place.

After all is done, these words are long due.
Please, know what I say is true.
You are cherished, cared for, and loved
and like the soldiers that you are, make it, pull through.

4. Signal boost and poem for PM

PM runs the Lesbian Caucus blog and dedicates her energy towards helping raise discussion and action towards lesbian-centric issues.  

"Lesbianism"

Love brings us closer together
Eagerness to lend a helping hand
Solidarity is our calling card
Bravery against those who oppress
Interdependence keeps us connected
Action keeps us moving
Necessary are lesbians for they
Imagine a better world for us
Sisterhood means so much to us
Memorable is the culture we're creating


Thank you, once again, for helping me deal with my life as I know it.  You cannot imagine how grateful I am that you all had a hand in helping make my home and community a safer place for my girlfriend and myself.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

8.18.13 As males you should know

Just because you are male, does not mean you need to buy into the lies we are told about what is male behavior. There is nothing you need to do or not do to be a “man” but your natural aging process.

If you want to be a man that wears a dress, and has long hair you can, but that doesn't make you female. 

As a female it is offensive to read mtf passing guides telling young boys what they need to do in order to be seen as women. It re-enforces old stereotypes and behaviors, and pretty much tells women that if they don’t do that then they should not be happy with themselves and are not woman enough. 

No amount of surgery or hormones can change your sex, was her turning point. She was being sold on an idea of perfection that she was not going to get. If you look at trans conferences they are sponsored by big pharmaceutical companies, plastic surgeon, and porn companies. None of those have your best interests at mind and are selling you the idea that you are not man or woman enough, that your body is not right, and that you need their services because if you don’t you will kill yourself.

None of these conferences tell you that the suicide rate of post-transition is still high, or that people do de-transition. I know I have sat through them and was told, “The data was not collected”, or “the costs outweigh the risks”. Bullshit, you are playing with peoples minds and health to get their money, then telling them they are wrong when they are still depressed they don’t reach this ideal that you sold them.

This system that we have is not sustainable, patriarchal capitalism has destroyed this planet, and unless people stand up and say this is not okay, nothing is going to change. One thing that mra’s seem to forget is that feminists do not say that patriarchy benefits all men, because clearly you are an example of someone who has not. What it does is tells us that to be a man you need to be xyz and to be a woman you need to do xyz and it does that to keep those in power in control.

Monday, August 12, 2013

8.12.13 TransMISOGYNY and consequences

For the past month I have been in the process of getting a protective order against a local MtT. This man, used to be a friend but since they found out about my detranstion and involvement in radical feminist spaces they have been violent and hostile.
Everything started with this photo and a phone call after they found out I was reading Cathy Brennan's blog, via a link I posted on my facebook. It was a post about how men will fuck anything, and CB had wrote about a story where a man in her life had fucked her piggy bank. Coletta agreed with the post and interacted then became angry when she read what else was on CB's blog. I told her on facebook to leave me alone, and then once again after I received a phone call from him and this text. As you can see I asked him not to contact me again. For a month we heard nothing and thought all was okay then I recieved a message from a local event promoter that Coletta was on their facebook page telling people I was a traitor and a liar and that they had deleted it before it was posted to the masses. This promoted my girlfriend to go digging and we found several posts on his personal account regarding me.

What was more disturbing was when I checked my article on Gender Trender as from his facebook posts I could tell he had done some digging on me. There I found comment, after comment from him.  I decided not to comment back to him directly but reestablish that I have asked him to leave me be. We also found several of Coletta's old Bebo accounts, and wordpress as well as his twitter that he had been talking about me on. For someone that had not seen me in 2 years, and maybe only 3 times before their attachment and anger was very disturbing. The last time I had seen him resulted in a drunken sexual accounter that now, recalling back was very inappropriate behavior as I was 21 at the time and Coletta was nearly 50, and both of us were intoxicated.

I do not think they were published, but it got us an i.p address and email


Because of these comments I was urged by Cathy Brennan and others to get a protective order against Coletta, the fact he stewed over me for a month, and then exploded with such force was and is a worry to me. I went to my county and filled out paperwork and while that was a hassle it has been the easiest process. 
In order to receive my protective order I need to have a third party serve Coletta with the paperwork, and this is our problem.The sheriff will do it for a fee, but we need and address, which we do not have and cannot find. Coletta has never had a formal name change and therefore his records are not in that name. He have no job, or dmv record. We had a lawyer look for us and they could not find anything. We searched ourselves and with Coletta's phone number we were able to track it to... the old owner of the number. We have his church, but they won't help us, we have Coletta's girlfriends name and address but that turned out to be a trailer park, and we need a space number, and that is not Coletta's residence, so we are stuck. 

Despite all this information we have nothing. I can find and view his recent purchases on Amazon but not his address. Because of his chosen name, he has hidden from being served and still doesn't know we are attempting to serve him with a notice of a protective order.

Last Wednesday was the court hearing and the judge looked at the evidence and was prepared to grant us the order based on what Coletta has said regarding me, but got ahead of himself and did not realize we were unable to serve Coletta. He told us to contact the police department in the town Coletta lived in, which we did and they said they do not serve legal papers. He pushed our hearing to the 28th of this month, and we have to serve Coletta 5 days before. 

Today we contacted a professional process server, and they told us that their fee was 65$ to serve Coletta, plus travel fee. In addition to this fee we also have to first pay for them to locate him, that cost 75$/hr and they do not know how long it will take them. I have stated a fund to help with the expenses, as I do not have the money it takes to track this person down, and I am still worried that they will lash out at me in a public space. I cannot afford to serve them, but I cannot afford to let my girlfriend or myself hurt because of this man. I am hoping that the community that has helped me so much can also help me with this. 




Wednesday, August 7, 2013

8.7.13 Puberty Blockers and the Destruction of Children

Trigger warning: child abuse

Today is the time to address a topic that I haven't yet touched on, but hope to explore more as time goes on.  Knowing the reasons why on earth parents would do this to their children might help us put a stop to it.

The topic today is puberty-suppressing drugs for minors.  The Childrens Hospital of Boston has a very biased pro-big pharmaceuticals approach to dealing with gender non-conforming children.  In this post, I will review their "Frequently Asked Questions" section with some common sense. I will also be raising my own concerns about the highly questionable nature of this "treatment."

On the Childrens Hospital website, they offer a brief explanation of things we all should have learned about already in basic high school biology class.
"During puberty, the pituitary gland—a tiny gland at the bottom of the brain—releases hormones called gonadotrophins that stimulate the gonads to mature. In boys, gonadotrophins stimulate the testes, so that they start producing testosterone and sperm. In girls, they stimulate the ovaries to begin producing estrogen and ultimately to ovulate."
 So far, so good. This answer points out that young boys will develop natural hormonal changes and will get everything a boys puberty entails.  Ditto for young girls.  No problems here. Next!
"Children's transgender patients, all of whom have been previously screened by psychotherapists skilled in evaluation of gender identity, are counseled and evaluated by a Gender Management Service (GeMS) Clinic psychologist. Following an established international research protocol, patients undergo a series of psychological and medical tests in order to assess whether they have persistent clinical symptoms of transgenderism that interfere with their psychosocial functioning and put them at serious risk for self-harm. Patients are considered eligible for medical intervention when they fulfill the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders-IV criteria for gender identity disorder, have suffered from lifelong extreme gender dysphoria, are psychologically stable and live in a supportive environment.
Children's offers reversible medical intervention to a select group of at-risk transgender patients in order to suppress their production of estrogen or testosterone, but only after these patients have entered puberty. This reversible treatment gives patients time to reach an age when they can decide, with their families, whether to begin cross-sex hormone therapy. Cross-sex hormone therapy consists of testosterone for genetic females and estrogen for genetic males. If they decide not to transition to the opposite sex, pubertal suppression will be discontinued, genetic puberty will resume, and patients will mature into the gender/sex they were born as."
 So, here we have some "psychotherapists skilled in evaluation of gender identity."  Now, these are likely to not be the same quacks who prescribed shock therapy, lobotomies, etc for gays and lesbians back not too far long ago in history, but it does sound like we have a new wave of doctors who are eager to stunt the naturally occurring development of children - sounds legit.  What tools do doctors use to assess whether a child is "psychologically stable" I wonder?  Isn't the threat of self-harm enough of a diagnostic to assess that a child has no idea the type of self-harm they're signing up for with gender reassignment "treatment?" Could there possibly be more going on that would lead to children hating their bodies and hating the way society treats them as gender non-conforming boys and girls?  Dysphoria can be rooted in a variety of reasons - just because a baby butch hates her breasts and vagina doesn't mean she is actually a boy.  A lot of women hate their breasts and vaginas - a lot of the reasons why is because of porn culture.  Try growing up in a capitalist patriarchal society and NOT  hate parts of your body.  If you manage to do this your whole life without fail, well then congratulations, you're a privileged white able-bodied male!

Doctors really need to start figuring out how to help gender non-conforming children be able to deal with their own emotions and how to face and change society.  Parents and teachers should be on board battling rampant pornification of women.  They should also be on-board helping their vulnerable children figure out that most people hate their bodies but that it is revolutionary and brave to accept their bodies even with their so-called "flaws."  Parents should also be prepared to act like adults and explain to their children that just because little Johnny likes playing Princess doesn't make him a girl.  Young girls who wear plaid, jeans, and no makeup shouldn't be told they're "masculine."  Children internalize messages that suggest they are trans when they are not and they start believing the lies.  There is nothing at all abnormal about having interests that go against the grain of patriarchy.  It doesn't facilitate the need to change these kids.

Next!
"Children’s Hospital Boston doctors use drugs called GnRH analogues to temporarily suppress puberty. These drugs block the release of gonadotrophins thereby halting production of sex steroid hormones from the testes and ovaries. GnRH analogues have been used for many decades to assist in reproductive treatment for women and to stop precocious (early) puberty in children, and have not been shown to cause any major side effects."
 So, according to medical professionals (who never cause harm) *sarcasm intended*, these drugs haven't been shown to have any major side-effects.  What is their source of this information?  Especially considering that the evidence in this particular field is very limited and therefore not generalizable to the public.  Why are we using children as human testing experiments?
"Transgender youth, whether male or female, may be at serious risk for self-harm and often engage in life-threatening behaviors related to their transgender identity. Patients sense that they are "trapped in the wrong body" and many experience verbal or physical abuse as a result of their gender expression. Many transgender youth report having seriously thought about taking their lives. Over 25 percent of the transgender youth who participated in a recent study had actually attempted suicide."
As I have hinted at previously, suicide is not often just a one-sided issue.  The reasoning behind suicidal thoughts and attempts are often multi-faceted and are cumulative.  The fact that a gender non-conforming child would have suicidal thoughts is no doubt serious, but it's likely going to be a multitude of factors informing their self-harm.

Then, there is this study by TransActive (which only had ONE pediatrician involved with the research and ONE family practitioner - the rest are all trans advocates).  Needless to say this research is going to biased in favor of perpetuating the trans narrative and for benefiting the already bulging wallets of pharmaceutical corporations and wealthy plastic surgeons.  These children on beta blockers are not actively transitioning, however it is obvious that the medical establishment is grooming them for that path under the guise of "giving the patient and the patient's family time to decide whether the child should transition." Are these the same doctors who force parents to choose a sex for their intersex babies? From the study:
"More studies are needed to determine if discontinuing cross-sex hormones later in life would significantly increase risks of osteoporosis and bone fractures."
So, we don't actually know if puberty blockers will screw up a kid for the rest of his or her life.  I'm not really sure what else to say here except that pro-trans doctors are selling it, and families are buying it - hook, line, and sinker.

In addition to the highly questionable and worrisome medical practice itself, I have some concerns specific to the lives of these children once on puberty blockers.

1. Trans people are pushing very hard for the "right" of trans people to use locker rooms and bathrooms that do NOT correspond with their birth sex.

Now, imagine this:

You're a minor who is FTM.  So, you're anatomically female and possibly on puberty blockers. So, according to the "TransActive" piece, you're also going to look physically smaller and weaker due to a delayed growth spurt and lack of growth plate fusion.  You might have the rallying support of trans communities behind you.  Your school finally bends to trans activist pressure and allows you access to the boys locker rooms and bathrooms.  So, you're in a locker room one day and the bullies who usually target "that geek from math class" decide you're much better to target.  You're naked.  Your vagina is showing.  What the fuck do you think is going to happen next?  This isn't hard to figure out, but I can spell it out: gang rape or other physical assault.  How on earth is this a safe situation for young girls? We can't even help young boys who are targeted with violence in locker rooms...so I guess young girls get to be the scapegoat.

2. My next concern about these puberty blockers stem from a group of people who I think are the most depraved and disgusting human subjects in existence: child molesters.  Again, what do you think is going to happen to a young woman who is on puberty blockers and cannot get pregnant?  Often the only thing sadly that stops a child molester from going "all the way" is because a girl can get pregnant and the baby can be used as physical evidence of abuse in court.  How delighted old perverts would be at the prospect of a teenager who physically still resembles a child and won't have evidence of abuse?  Do we EVER think about the well-being of children?  Let us also consider that a big reason for body dysphoria is rape or other types of physical abuse and emotional belittling.  FTMs often try to escape this crap BY TRANSITIONING.  It's time we took the safety of these vulnerable women seriously - for their sake and not for the sake of corrupt men.

By not addressing the problems of patriarchy and instead encouraging children to transition we are reinforcing the patriarchy.  The headline of Dirtywhiteboi67's blog is "Change Society - Not Your Body."  I couldn't state it better myself.

Monday, August 5, 2013

8.5.13 Misogynist and Lesbophobic trans "activist" speaking at National Conference

Some of you might remember a young man named Qaiel/Kyle Peltier.  If not, here is a rundown from twitter last year.

https://twitter.com/Qaiel/status/261587366454644736

If anything tells you about this person's involvement in feminism this exchange with Terri Strange sums it up nicely. 

Yet, this upcoming week he is speaking at a national conference:

TRANSforming Organizations: Empowering Organizations to Support Trans and Genderqueer Youth

Rochelle TrochtenbergYouth OrganizerJulie FreitasSupervising Mental Health ClinicianQaiel Peltier,Youth Partner; Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services, Transitional Aged Youth (TAY) Division, Eureka, CA
Join a fun, interactive workshop developed by queer youth leaders, designed to prepare participants to create safe, inclusive spaces for TRANS and gender-nonconforming youth. Topics covered include: appropriate terminology, addressing TRANS erasure, and identifying/preventing stigma and discrimination. Humboldt County’s system of care will share tips on supporting accessibility from a rural, integrated, mental health TAY program.


He's a blond able-bodied middle-class white man. I don't really see how he "fits in" at an intersectional feminist conference, except maybe to talk about how he's trans because he's not hypermasculine and he's revolutionary because he's polyamorous and "has at least one orgasm a day" (which he makes sure we all know via his facebook about section).


He has bullied women for not living up to his standards of sexual promiscuity, and has assaulted at least 2 women. He has belittled those same women for their interest in feminism. 
His  intersectional feminism does not include radical feminism and is trans-women focused instead. As a de-transitioned woman, this is not the advice I would have needed. Obviously, regarding  gender-nonconforming youth I would prefer to see a butch lesbian speak. 

If people like Lierre Keith and Rachel Ivey are losing their platforms to speak, we need to push back when people like Qaiel are given the stage. His politics are detrimental to youth and he should not be in the position he is. 

I urge people to email the conference organizers (  dkempker@ou.edu ), and express their own thoughts on his speaking.  Here is a sample of what I sent:

Hello,

I am writing to you today as a concerned feminist activist. It has been brought to my attention that you have booked a speaker wh
o is lesbophobic and misogynistic. His name is Qaiel/Kyle Peltier. As such, I do not feel that his topic of intersectional feminism is a platform that is appropriate for him. Members of oppressed groups have the right to speak as members of that oppressed group and every time a man takes the podium, he is taking that precious speaking arena away from those most affected by patriarchy (meaning women, lesbians, women of color, women with disabilities, etc). The only thing that is remotely intersectional about Qaiel's politics is his ability to say "trans women are women" while completely trampling on the valid needs and concerns of females as a human sex. This approach makes spaces more comfortable and accessible for born males, but doesn't address the need for women to have our own safe spaces to autonomously gather and express our own needs as women. Mr. Peltier has gone on rampages against Roseanne Barr and activists Cathy Brennan and Lierre Keith in the past. His involvement with queer politics has nothing to do with feminism and in fact his combative nature and overt sexual deviancy is in fact triggering to many feminist activists. 

I respectfully ask that you re-consider any future bookings of Mr. Peltier. Thank you for your time.

Friday, August 2, 2013

How to Help a Friend Who Is Considering De-Transition (Part 3 of 3)

First, I want to thank my readers for being patient with me.  A lot of personal issues have been going on.  But the waiting is over...

Earlier on, I wrote two other parts to this series.  The first part can be found <here> and the second part can be read <here.>   This is the third part of that series.

Say you have a friend who has told you that she is expressing doubts about her transition, and even doubts about her own so-called "gender identity."  You might hear her mention that she's been experiencing side effects of the testosterone that she doesn't like (these side effects could be physical or mental).  She could be mentioning that in addition to negative health problems (high blood pressure, reproductive failure, etc) that she isn't feeling great about the transition changes.  She doesn't like her new high libido or her porn habit.  There could be other issues going on as well.  If she is pre-operative, she may express doubts about getting surgery, or keep coming up with reasons not to have surgery.  Basically, she is just very unhappy at this point and she's coming to you for advice.

Now what?

There are a few things you can say/do at this point.

1.  DO remind your friend that she can always "go back."  A common lie that trans rhetoric spouts is that transition is "PERMANENT!" and that you can NEVER go back, and that feminists are EVIL and lesbians are EVIL and will NOT WELCOME YOU BACK.

This is a flat out LIE perpetuated by MtTs and even some FtTs who have never really researched or spoken directly to lesbian feminists.  Remind your friend that while mistakes are often punished by the trans community, that feminists don't feel that way.

2. DO direct your friend to the (very limited) amount of resources available, such as Dirtywhiteboi67's blog, my blog, get her into contact with Sheila Jeffreys, Lierre Keith, etc.  Get her connected to feminist friends that can comfort her.

3. Ask your friend if (and how) she intends to quit hormone treatment if she is still currently on HRT.  If she is, advise her to talk to her doctor, however, at this point your friend might be HIGHLY skeptical of doctors for enabling this type of "treatment" in the first place.  If that is the case and she is apprehensive of seeing the doctor, encourage her to see a different physician or even preferably a female herbalist practitioner.  It is NOT RECOMMENDED to quit testosterone cold turkey as this can shock the system.  When ceasing hormone treatment, it is best to taper off of the drugs (as with most other big-pharmaceutical drugs).

4.  DO encourage natural healing.  On the subject of herbalists, many herbal stores sell tea blends and tinctures that contain various herbs known to help repair the female reproductive.  Ask for tinctures that help with the female cycle and with menopause.  Some women who have never transitioned ever and just go through natural menopause sometimes don't want synthetic estrogen, and so they take the herbal route, which honestly seems to be a lot safer in the long run than synthetic man-made lab-created bullshit.

5.  DO be prepared to help her with backlash as she WILL be met with hostility and she will be turned away from her former trans community.  She might lose a few friends over this.  She might get harassed in person, on the internet, etc.  Be supportive of her and help her deal with bullies.  Get law enforcement involved when needed.

6.  DO explain to your friend that it will take time for her body to heal and to be patient.  Hormones take about a year for everything to regulate itself again.  It takes 7 years for every cell in your body to become a brand new cell.  In terms of binding, despite what the trans cult says, there is no such thing as safe binding.  It doesn't matter if you wear a properly fitting binder.  It doesn't matter if you only wear it 8 hours a day.  It just DOES NOT MATTER.  No matter what, you will still find yourself with rib damage and rib pain.  Binding is ONLY supposed to be a short-term thing.  Binding is supposed to in theory keep you "passing" until you can afford and/or want top surgery.  Usually this is a timeframe of about 5 years and definitely no longer than 10 years.  The only difference between "proper binding" and "improper binding" is how long it will take for your ribs to become weakened and warped.  No different than corsets to be completely honest.

7.  If your friend is scared or doesn't know what to do, the best I can say is just keep being there for her.  Keep encouraging her to make healthy choices.  Offer kind words of support.  I know for me, there have been some very distressing days in which I was barraged with harassment from morning to night and it was kindness from my friends that reminds me why I put up with the crap in the first place.
I do this to help.  Others may not want or care about my help but I'm here because I'm living proof that people make mistakes and there is nothing wrong with me trying to help otherwise healthy young women NOT make those same mistakes.  I was a teenager too not very long ago and I thought I knew everything too.  Not being stubborn goes a long way because in the end you're only hurting yourself.