Monday, April 21, 2014

Smoking is bad, mmkay.

This is quite a bit off-topic from my regular posts, but I just want to tell you all:

Don't ever start smoking.


Just don't do it.

That being said, I began smoking when I was 18.  I am now 25.  I quit smoking on April 11th. The detox went as well as could be expected.  Dull, long-lasting headache, endless nausea, excessive perspiration which was foul-smelling from the toxins leaving my body, vivid dreams, body aches, irritability, sadness, anger, you name the smoking-cessation symptom; I experienced it.

Some shit hit the fan in my personal life and I made the dumbassed decision to buy a pack of smokes again.

I took two, maybe three puffs of one of the cigarettes.

Gross as hell.

Which makes me realize something.  Even though my body no longer craves the nicotine anymore, my brain still does.

Cognitive dissonance sucks.  Your brain can be fully convinced that a substance that is absolutely shitty for you health wise is something that you couldn't live without, even though it looks, smells, and tastes like shit.

Fuck addiction.

But I suppose the good that has come from this situation is I can safely say that it's going to be a battle of my own wits.  I don't need to smoke.  My body recognizes the smoke as a toxin.

What I did in giving a couple puffs to that cigarette was the equivalent of a really depressing breakup/makeup.  You know what I am talking about.  You break up with someone and then months or years later get back together and have makeup sex and realize "shit, this is familiar. I thought I wanted this, but round 2 isn't likely to go anywhere positive."  You have high hopes that it'll be as awesome as it once was, and being back together with this person will be as wonderful as you imagined it.

So, cigarettes, I think we should just be friends, because honestly, that was really awkward encounter, and not at all as romantic as I had hoped it would be.  And now I have the added bonus of having to fess up to my girlfriend about cheating on the promise I made to myself and her for having those puffs with you.

If any of you reading this are thinking of quitting, whether for your health or (in my case) to save money, I encourage it.  Give it up for a few weeks, and if you want to take a puff, don't. I swear, it tastes like shit.  I do not say this lightly.

1 comment:

dokutou-mekki said...

Nicotine is actually more addictive than heroin (I swear I'm not making that up). I wish you luck in continuing to stay off cigarettes because that is really bad for your health. My mom has been smoking for 40 years and now she has circulation problems in her legs, so she really needs to quit. My foolish brother started smoking and he goes through periodic cycles where he quits and starts back up.

I think it's good that you made a post like this too, because I've noticed that lots of people in LGBT spaces smoke. I hung out at the LGBT group sometimes when I was in college and after the meetings at least half the membership went out to smoke. I wonder what's up with that.