Sunday, July 27, 2014

The New Yorker Magazine Talks Transgender Politics and Radical Feminism

Story here!  http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/08/04/woman-2

Contents include Radfems Respond in Portland OR 2014, Sheila Jeffreys' book Gender Hurts, an overview on Janice Raymond, Michfest, quotes from Lierre Keith, Rachel Ivy, myself, and others!

For ways you can join the fight for women's liberation, please check out the Women's Liberation Front, the group responsible for hosting Radfems Respond.  Become a member, donate, start your own WoLF pack, volunteer, and more!  Website: http://womensliberationfront.org/

Monday, July 21, 2014

A Charity Post

A friend of mine requested that I give a signal boost to this donation page, wherein a lesbian couple is facing eviction.  They asking for help in covering two months worth of rent for June and July.  Consider donating or spreading the word!

https://begslist.org/begging-for-money/financial-hardship

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Minor Head's Up

I regretfully inform you all that due to some really ignorant anonymous comments on my blog the past couple days that I have disabled anonymous comments until further notice.  I understand that this may be an inconvenience to some of you who need assistance/advice or to those of you who like to show your support anonymously.

I'll be back to my regular posts sometime soon, there are a couple of other projects I'm currently working on right now, but I wanted to make this announcement.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Another Perspective on NAMALT (Not All Men Are Like That)

Howdy men, I am here to tell you today that you're all full of shit.  Yes, even you.  Even the "good" ones, especially the "bad" ones.

If that statement has pissed you off enough to stop reading this post, that's totally alright. There are plenty of spaces on the internet for you to troll and mansplain about how the evil hairy lesbian feminists are ruining your desire to use your penis life.

If you're still reading and you're a man, congratulations! You actually wish to educate yourself on why male power dynamics across all types of various subcultures is imbalanced and a huge problem, and you're going to know that I can see the patterns, as can many other women, and those patterns aren't fooling us.

Subculture #1 - Male Pedophiles:  Recently, my partner watched an awful documentary about pedophilia, in which the director attempts to differentiate between "good" pedophiles and "bad" pedophiles.  She also wrote up an amazing critique of the documentary, which you can read HERE.

A kiddy-fucker is still a kiddy-fucker, no matter how much pomo-jargon men try to use to bamboozle everyone.  But they try to make the distinction between men who ACTUALLY rape children as opposed to men who ONLY THINK about raping children, and those in the latter category are the "good" pedophiles.

Men's hierarchical "good man," "bad man" bullshit land.

But it's not just within pedo circles that men have territorial pissing matches over which of them sucks and which of them only sucks sometimes.  I've also seen this behavior in the following other men's subcultures as well:

#2. Bronies:  "Bronies," for those who aren't in-the-know, are a subculture of grown-ass men who like the television show My Little Pony.  My Little Pony is a story about multiple female ponies who explore such concepts as friendship, bravery, their magical skills, honesty, loyalty, and laughter.  My Little Pony is such an important show for young girls for numerous reasons, one of which is because it is one of few shows that feature a primarily female-led cast.  In fact, boy animals are just background minor characters.  It shows little female ponies going on all kinds of really big adventures.

That all being said, it's hard to understand why men are even interested in this show, let alone making a name as incomprehensibly stupid for themselves as "bronies."  What, is the title of MLP Fan too effeminate for you?

But that's not the best worst part.  Within the brony subculture, there apparently exist "cloppers" who "clop." Clopping is the act of masturbating to fanfiction and/or pornographic fan art of My Little Pony characters.  Bronies insist that Cloppers aren't really Bronies.  Cloppers aren't TRUE fans and they are in fact, giving bronies a bad name.  You can see an example of this here (WARNING: semi-graphic content of stupid and offensive MLP sex toys): http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/do-bronies-fap-to-my-little-pony.452788225/

This user, TheNewCharlie985, offered this explanation:  Well, the way I see it, all cloppers are bronies, but not all bronies are cloppers.

Cloppers are the sexually frustrated hardcore bronies that find the ponies and/or their anthropomorphic counterparts sexually attractive.

You don't group those people in with the "Bronies" because a "brony can be any male over 14 that likes watching the show from time to time.


#3. MRAs:  MRAs, or Men's Rights Activists, claim to care about the concerns of men; concerns which have everything to do with institutionalized patriarchy, but they're too obstinate to admit it.  There isn't much for me to say on this topic honestly, because MRAs are about as redundant as you can safely get before hitting peak insanity (oh, look, a group of men who openly admit they hate women. Shocking!).  But I will say this, MRAs openly denounced shooter Elliot Rodger as one of their own, even though he wrote a manifesto detailing his motives (misogyny and racism), and he frequented MRA and PUA (pick up artist) websites.  So, in the case of MRA logic, there are "bad" MRAs like Elliot Rodger who MRAs consider "not a real MRA" and then there are "good" MRAs, who simply hate women, but don't go on shooting sprees.

Got it.

#4. Male-born trans activists:  Goddess, where do I begin?  I'm going to try to keep this short, because I could be here all day.  But, basically depending on whichever group of male-born trans activists you speak with, the "good" ones are men who simply cross-dress, and the "bad" ones are ones who pretend to be women.  In other groups, the "good" ones might be the "true transsexuals" who are males who think they have a legitimate medical condition which requires them to undergo drugs and surgeries to become surgically constructed models of patriarchal-femininity and the "bad" ones are the ones who don't actually have gender dysphoria, or the "bad" ones are the ones who cross dress.

The whole thing is a big mess.  Either way, there's a lot of finger-pointing going on.

#5. Sports and/or Bodybuilding:  This one is easy.  In sports or bodybuilding, the "bad" guys are the ones who cheat or use steroids.  The "good" guys are the guys who don't do this.  Nobody pays attention that both groups of guys are often misogynistic and homophobic (and no, having gay athletes doesn't really matter).

#6. Leather subculture:  The "bad" Doms are the ones who don't respect boundaries or hurt or rape their victims.  The "good" Doms are the ones who hurt with "consent" from their victims.

#7. Prisons:  Beside the obvious "bottom bitch" and "alpha" dynamics, different types of male criminals get placed on different spots within the male prisoner hierarchy.  Child molesters are typically on the bottom rung and get attacked with such brutality, they often get solitary confinement, for example.  It's not likely you'll hear the "good" male criminal or "bad" male criminal argument, but crimes are treated differently by various inmates.  Certain inmates are more revered, where others are reviled.

#8. Pimps and Johns:  Pimps assert that they aren't like the other pimps because the other pimps beat their prostitutes or get them hooked on drugs.  The "good" pimps are the ones who give their "workers" a better working environment than the other pimps.  The "good" johns are the ones who don't beat up the prostitutes or attempt not to pay.

This is all incredibly stupid, but men actually believe the things they are spouting.

Why did I go through the painstaking task of compiling this list in the first place?  I did it for a few different reasons.  First, I wanted to make sure that people could see the larger picture between these various connections, and that larger picture is that no matter what men are doing, especially if it is questionable, immoral, or downright harmful, they will attempt to plead the case that what they're doing isn't that bad, because there are other men who are worse than they are.  The second reason I am drawing all of these parallels is because men's culture thrives on the creation and maintenance of hierarchies, and fringe groups (or even mainstream institutions like sports) are no exceptions to men's hierarchies.  Finally, I created this list as an educational experience for women to see and understand that the "bad" men, "good" men, and "silent" men (the men who are silent and complacent in harms or wrongdoings) are all participating in this culture of dominance.

Sometimes, the "good" and "bad" groups go head-to-head in fighting online or in person, just to establish who is Top Dog.  In the end, it's pointless, because it's all the same.

I also urge my readers to look over THIS LIST from Wikipedia. Are there other subcultures on this list that have large groups of men claiming the "No True Scotsman" argument?  If so, what have you noticed?  (For example, if you were involved in the anarcho-punk scene, goth culture, straightedge, etc). Talk about your experiences in the comments below!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Advice for Parents of Teen Girls and Girl-children who Think they are Trans

If you are reading this, you're a parent who is dangling by a thread and not sure how to reach your child/teen who is considering transition.  I'm going to open this up with  a bit of bad news, but you might also have some success if you follow my steps/advice.

So, pretty much, children and teens aren't going to listen to anything their parents say due to age, circumstance, etc.  This is especially true if the parents are abusive, and if you are worried you might hurt your children or you have hurt them in the past, be a role model for your child/teen and get help.  They will be more likely to get help and grow too if they see you doing it.

If you're a supportive and loving parent who has already worked through your own issues, read on.

The difficulty here is getting your child/teen to listen to you.  The first thing I recommend in dealing with a child/teen considering transition is to act like a parent.  I know that sounds more than a little bit condescending, seeing as I'm not a parent myself, but I can assure you that my childhood abuse was also peppered with moments where my mom and dad would let me get away with a lot of perks like staying up late or using the computer whenever I wanted just so I would keep quiet about the abuse.  So, when I say it's time for you to be a parent it means to stop acting like a friend.  I know that you want your kids to like you, and they should, absolutely.  But they also need guidance and structured, but fair, discipline.

For me, I first really discovered F2T transition on the internet.  I made lots of trans friends through the internet.  I learned about F2T "passing guides" on the internet. I bought my first chest binder on the internet. I got lots of positive feedback loops from other transitioning adolescents on the internet (including them saying things like "your parents just don't understand/don't support you, you can sue them if they don't give in" etc).  I saw my first dose of F2T pornography on the internet.  I found a doctor that I could go see to give me hormone treatment on the internet.

Are you seeing a pattern here?  I spent a lot of time on the internet, and the internet was paramount for delving me further into transition knowledge, in fact, that's the first thing that transitioners will tell you (on the internet) is to do as much research about transitioning and transgenderism on the internet.

So, do your kid a favor. Unplug them.

I realize they "need" the internet for school, as schools have pretty much made not using the internet freaking impossible.  But you are a parent.  Remember that.  You have a responsibility for the health and wellness of your child.  Prolonged social media usage has a negative impact on myself and many countless others.  It can lead to feelings of isolation/alienation, while at the same time encouraging self destructive habits.

So, what do you do?

1.  Go to a website which specializes in blocking certain websites from your computers.  Use one that requires you to type in a password if you want to access certain sites. And then block the following sites: Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, reddit, susans.org, ftmi.org, ftmguide.org, gendercentre.org, ftmmagazine.com (EDIT: 7/11/14, also include YOUTUBE in your list of blocked sites because that website is filled with a bunch of pro-trans videos). I would list mtf sites, however, doing a simple google search of "ftm" brings up a BUNCH of results for actual F2T people, whereas searching for "mtf" yields a bunch of results that have nothing to do with actual M2Ts.  But do some digging around the internet and add those sites to your parental block filter too.  Anything related to "ftm hormones," "ftm binders," "ftm packers," "ftm passing" etc, and you get the general idea.  A google search for "parental controls internet" yielded some helpful sites you can check out for technical help with this crucial step.  Parental Control Sites

2.  Also, you need to be able to support your daughter, but if your child confronts you about your hesitations, simply tell her this: "if anything medically bad happened to you as a result of my consenting to hormone treatment for you, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."  Don't offer any further explanations. Hold firm on this.  Repeat as necessary.

3.  So, what do I mean by be supportive?  Go ahead and get the "male clothes".  If they want to use a new "male" name, be sure to say "that's a cool name for you, I think it encapsulates my brilliant and strong daughter!"

4.  Break down gender roles and stereotypes as much as you possibly can.  Ask your daughter what she thinks it means to be a man and what she thinks it means to be a woman.  Remind her that in cultures around the world, these definitions change.

5.  Make sure your daughter is safe at school.  If there are any concerns of bullying, get that taken care of immediately. Report to authorities as necessary.  Cyber-bullying is also a huge issue with today's youth. This is even yet another reason to get her unplugged.

6.  Oh, and her cell phone? Get her a go-phone instead and hide her cell phone somewhere else (like at a friend's house, at your office, or anywhere else she can't go looking for it).  If she doesn't have a smart phone, she won't be able to fiddle around on Facebook and all the other websites you blocked.

7.  Delay the hormones as much as possible.

8.  Meanwhile, encourage them to look at both sides of this issues, especially encourage girls considering transitioning to look at people who have been there who have legitimate complaints about health issues from hormones.

9.  If possible and feasible, get them some counseling from an actual psychologist as opposed to a school counselor or a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist is only interested in pushing more drugs onto your child, so get them some real therapy.  If they do need psychiatric pills, MAKE SURE THEY ARE ALSO IN THERAPY WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST SIMULTANEOUSLY.  The pills are not the ultimate fix-it solution.  You're not getting to the root of the problem if you're relying on drugs, even if they are prescription drugs for mental wellness issues!

10. Get her involved in something outside of school like painting/drawing, photography, sculpting, martial arts, kickboxing, archery, basically any sport or any external creative outlet that is separate from school and separate from her pro-trans peers.

11.  Help her to develop her own real identity, not the "identity" of the boy she thinks she might be inside.  Often the boy inside is just a coping mechanism, but that's all that it is.

In closing, this trend is going to have a devastating impact on today's youth about 10 years down the road.  These things are not very well studied, and we are/were their guinea pigs.  Be a role model, be a mentor, but most of all, don't be afraid to be a parent.  Don't allow yourself to be bullied into this.  This is your child's health that is being played with, and your child's health is not a game - it is life or death.

EDIT (7/26/14): Portuguese translation: http://sexoimporta.tumblr.com/post/91519992159/conselho-para-pais-de-meninas-adolescentes-e-meninas